It’s important to learn how to build real trust in your relationship. There are many factors that can influence conflict avoidance, such as self-doubt, lack of assertiveness, inadequate communication skills, fear of rejection, disapproval, criticism, or loss of security and more. In other words, people avoid conflict to minimize perceived threats to their self-esteem and sense of well-being. When it comes to personal life, conflict avoidance can increase boundary violations and decrease mutual respect between intimate partners, parents and children, siblings, and friends.

  • It’s possible—but you likely will have to accept the relationship for what it is and learn to approach it differently from your other relationships.
  • And that leads to an awareness that you do not have to avoid conflict.

Somatic avoidance

  • It’s never too late in life to learn how to develop healthier communication skills and address conflict.
  • In business, when an employer or team leader avoids dealing with negative behavior, for instance, it can seem that they are accepting unacceptable acts.
  • Conflict resolution is about standing up for yourself and communicating when you feel angry or frustrated.
  • For the next few days, her employee avoided her, and the tension between them escalated.
  • Your goal in this case should be something like “have a nice visit.” The goal should not be to “work out things emotionally” or you have not radically accepted the situation or changed your expectations.

“Conflict avoidance can greatly connect to racial and gender privilege,” Ezelle explains. “For example, a heterosexual white man may feel more comfortable sharing his opinion, even if a conflict may arise, because of the more often than not presumed commonality among those in the room. Handling these small situations politely but firmly can help you build confidence.

a person who avoids conflict

Identify Active Coping Options

F. Diane Barth, L.C.S.W., is a psychotherapist, teacher, and author in private practice in New York City. Although you might think that brash and pushy behavior is the quality that makes a person a strong leader, the opposite is actually often true. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive others. how to deal with someone who avoids conflict Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can serve only to deplete and drain your life. When you really listen, you connect more deeply to your own needs and emotions, and to those of other people. Listening also strengthens, informs, and makes it easier for others to hear you when it’s your turn to speak.

Learn how to manage stress in the moment

If you hate conflict, you might be happier single – The Washington Post

If you hate conflict, you might be happier single.

Posted: Fri, 25 Sep 2015 07:00:00 GMT [source]

Tracy S. Hutchinson, Ph.D., serves on the faculty at The College of William & Mary. She is also a consultant, psychotherapist, and clinical supervisor in private practice. Many of my clients yearn for a better relationship with people they “should” be closer to. For example, a client may wish they had a “normal mother” that can share in the joy of major milestones, like having a baby; they wonder why this seems to be impossible no matter how hard they try. Grieving is not always limited to those who have died; grief also happens while people are living. Often, grieving the loss of who you thought a person was and the relationship you wish to have (but can’t) is an important component of the healing process.

a person who avoids conflict

Understanding why avoidance coping tends to be self-defeating will also help encourage you to take a more proactive and effective approach to stress management. If you find yourself using avoidance coping, look for https://ecosoberhouse.com/ opportunities to replace these behaviors with active coping strategies. If you’ve tended toward avoidance coping most of your life or at least are in the habit of using it, it can be hard to know how to stop.

The ability to successfully resolve conflict depends on your ability to:

See what thoughts and feelings arise, and how long it takes for the feeling to pass. Once you are able to catch yourself using avoidance behaviors, you will be able to start working on stopping yourself and replacing these unhelpful behaviors with more effective ones. If we rely on these “strategies” for stress relief they can get out of control and create more stress.

Understand Avoidance Coping


How confrontation can help a relationship

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top